Thursday, August 15, 2013

The Show Must Go On

Part 1

Dear Sisters, Lately as i have prayed i feel the same thing over and over...i tell the Lord.."Lord some things are impossible to do on this earth.." i will never again be Jims wife on this earth..i will never have all of my children with me again..i will never be able to relive the happy yrs of raising them..i knew when i home-schooled that this was so special..it was a time i cant relive..My Darling Jim was so possessive at times and so many times he was afraid of losing me..Not to another man...no, but maybe to a friend or to an interest that he didnt know anything about..When i told him i was invited to give our testimony to the world..i know he thot i was kidding..He wud often say "Oh sure go ahead" but thinking " Oh please dont"..He did all of the remodeling around me and my email machine..i was trying to write as dust and noise flowed around me..He said it was fine that i wrote..He helped me to get my email machine..??? i loved him and our children..more then anything...i miss Jimmy, Johnny. Christiane Joy.i miss David Dan and Mary Elizabeth..I miss my husband..And when i think i will never be a young mother again or a stay at home mother..i will never again be married to Jim on this earth again,,,it breaks my heart..i thank God that i still have our old family home..Our home calls me to write..to remember the times and seasons of our home..Jim and i enjoyed the littlest things...When he really came to the Lord our lives changed..And even the littlest family things meant so much to us..`

Part 2

i say all of this to say "Enjoy your family while they are here.." i remember when we were raising Dan as a teenager..Oh he was a riot for sure..i wud get so mad at him and not talk to him..And my heart felt so broken because i missed wrapping him up in my arms and telling him i loved him..i just thot in my heart that i was the one suffering ..So i went to him and hugged him and held him close..i said to him.."I will always love you Dan.."...And when David left home to get an apt with a friend..i put a bouquet of flowers where he sat at the table..The flowers were called Bleeding Hearts..And as the children left home one by one .. it seems my writing became my counselor..The Voice of the Spirit had to lead me on..And after the children left home then my husband died..It was like the show was over...i had to walk out and turn off the lights...And yet i still have Jim and the children in my memories..And i can rebuild the home..i dont know how God will do it..but He will..And i am so happy i wrote a book..well many books not yet written.In this way my family goes on...the Show Must go on..  love, Connie

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Connie, how much I am learning from you, even at my late stage in life. I wept when I read this, as I can so much relate to it. I so much miss each of my children, but much more the little ones. Oh I was soooooo busy but I loved all of it, even NEVER having any time to myself. I loved the homeschooling and even now still look for books that are good!!! And have to stop myself buying them in case any of my children homeschool. I am blessed that my husband at 66 and with three stents in his arteries is still with me. The Lord called me in 1970 to be His, but I did not know anything, and struggled so much, but now I know that the things I struggled with was Jesus separating me and the family from the ways of the world, and I am so blessed now because He has taught me. Thank you Connie for your writings as you teach what MUST be taught to women who never hear from the church what it is to be a true Christian wife and mother for God. May God bless you and this special ministry. Antonia.

Anonymous said...

Dear Antonia, Thank you for writing and encourageing me..-Your note came right when i needed it..I am so glad that you still have your husband..just enjoy him..Of course i enjoy my grandchildren too..but there is just something special about our own children that we raised ourselves..And especially if we have a happy marriage..Love connie

Jessica said...

Thank you for this. I am still "in the thick of it", surrounded by my little ones at home and have found myself lately just trying to "survive" the days and longing for that joy I used to feel. Your words cut to the heart as a reminder that these days are like a vapor, and once they are gone, they will never be again. God bless you.

Jessica

Anonymous said...

Thank You.

Anonymous said...

Very blessed by this....I am thankful for you and.your testimony of your life then and now Thank you

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the reminder to treasure these (hard) days Connie! I'm waiting for my husband to come to Christ also, so your testimony was very encouraging. Lately I have felt like giving up but God used your story to encourage me again. x

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