Tuesday, May 27, 2014

All's Well that Ends Well (A little Humor from Home)

Part 1

i am sitting out on my pretty front porch doing my writing this morning..Well Peggy Sue is pestering me..{My Cat}...Peggy S. wants to go out on the porch but wants me to go out too...for about 5 minutes...Anyway i will try to ignore her ...This day reminds me of yrs ago when Jim and i were getting ready for our garden..Anyway Jim and i worked a bit on it and then he had to go to work.Well next door our neighbor was having this huge tree cut down in his yard..Well the man cutting the tree down was saving all the wood shavings in his truck..Well i went and ask the man if i cud have some of the wood shavings for my drive way..We had gravel in there but it was worn down..so i thot the woodshavings wud work for a while...at least to the end of the summer..Well i had to run into the house to put the dog out or something and when i came back out i saw that this man had dumped a whole big dump truck of wood shavings in my drive-way..All i needed was about a
third of what he gave me..Oh Merciful Heavens..!!I have just a small drive-way that the car sits in..Well i thot as i looked at all that wood shavings " Jim will think i am crazy..He wont hardly be able to get into the drive -way.." I just stood and looked at that mountain of wood and said to the Lord "How on earth will i get this drive way flat enuf so that Jim will be able to drive into it.."?

Part 2

Sooooo anyway.i am standing there trying to figure out how to get the drive way flat so the car can roll into it..Well i got my rake and tried to rake it flat..I was wading in wood chips and the chips came up to my hips..I cud hardly walk..i tried to put some of the chips in the big garbage bags and haul them back to my garden ..i used them as compost in my garden..Also i used them to put around my flowers in the front yard..that was all fine..But i was ringing wet with sweat from trying to flatten the drive way..i only had a few hrs to make things look decent..i mean after i worked an hr you cud hardly see that i had made a dent in it..And ya know i always tried to have things pleasant for Jim when he was just getting off work..I hate to see a man come home from work and have to fix something his wife goofed up while he was at work..!! i mean i wanted Jim to be able to have some time to rest..then he cud do some work or whatever..But i always tried
to get things done so i cud visit a while with Jim and then we cud have supper together..The boys cud have helped me but they were working too i think..i know they werent home..cant remember now.. i finally got so tired i cudnt go another step..OMG..So guess what i did? i widened the drive-way about a foot or so on each side..I thot .."this will have to do for now."so i rushed in and took a quick shower ..put my lipstick on and combed my hair..and waited for Wild Man to get home from work..I walk out casually when i saw the car coming down the street..Jim being a good sport pulled into the mountain of wood chips...

Part 3

Well the next part of this story is even funnier..Yours truely stands there and talks to her husband while he is trying to get out of the car..Where i wud usually be looking down to him in his car ..i am looking up to the sky at him..i told him about the wood chips and how i had worked for hours trying to haul the wood chips to the backyard..and still hardly made a dent in the mountain of wood..Well we had a good laugh over the whole thing..i was soooo tired i cudnt even fix supper..I laid on the couch and Jim fixed something for supper ..i cant even remember now what he made.i know i have told this story before..but it was fun telling it again..One other story i will tell you then i need to go plant my tomatoes..This next story is about an herb called Valerian..Welll this lady wanted to trade some herbs with me..thru the mail..I had just planted Feverfew and Valerian ..But they both looked alike to me ...So i knew that Valarian was something to calm a
person down..So i made a tea with both of the herbs and drank it.. to see which tea made me to relax..Well herbs dont act quickly like medicine with drugs in them..So i wud drink some of the tea i made and i got really impatient and i kept drinking this tea all afternoon ..i was trying to see which was which herb..You are sposed to make Valerian Tea with the roots of the Valerian..But my Valerian didnt have roots yet as it wasnt ready for anything..so i made the Valerian tea out of the leaves..Well Jim came home from work and he noticed his wife was a bit out of it..? you might say?Well this herb wud work differently on each person.. i had drank way to much of this tea..i wud be talking to Jim and my eyes wud close on their own..i had to hold my eyes open with my fingers to see anything..Jim was reading the paper while i was trying to tell him about the herbs..Pretty soon he looked hard at me and said "What is the matter with you?" Well to make a long
story short Jim had to fix supper that night too..I had to go straight to bed as i cudnt sit up anyway..Oh MaryL my mentor laughed her head off when i told her this story...It wasnt funny when it first happened but its gotten funnier and funnier as the yrs go by..Love connie

* Order Connie's book, "Dear Kitchen Saints," available on Amazon. It is autobiographical and tells the beautiful story of her marriage testimony!* 

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