Widowhood

Dear Mothers,

Ya know when Jim died this was such a shock to me..Jim had been so strong...i thot he wud out live me by 10 or 20 yrs...After he had open heart surgery he said he felt fine.The nurse said he wasnt on any medicine for pain...Jim said "Well it didnt hurt"..Then he wanted to go home..right away..Oh what a character.Well were both that way..not much for Drs..i wanted to write some things down for Anita that helped me to get thru it all...One thing i did Anita is i wrote letters to Jim ..i wasnt used to running my home ..Jim worked and i stayed home even after the children were gone and married.i had never written a check in 20 some yrs..Jim always worried that i wudnt be able to handle everything once he died..But the kids helped me and i had to learn it or move out..and be taken care of .i love this old house...and i wasnt moving out of it..i bot this house many yrs ago in 1973...i was alone and pregnant and had our son to raise..i was in an apt and very depressed..But God told me it wud be ok...And in prayer the Lord told me to buy a house and that Jim wud be home to help me move etc. i had a welfare check of 151 dollars..When Jim came home we went and looked for a house and we found one...i put my check down on it and we had to walk our stuff to this house..no car..i was 7 months pregnant.i put down 151 bucks for a down payment and also this paid for the taxes and the insurance..Jim found a job right away so we had some money..But Jim left me again before the baby was even born.i was on my own.......it was very hard...but i just kept takin it and kept goin..Jim then went back to prison and the children and i lived here for 8 yrs ..And when Jim came home this time he was healed and set free..Thank the Lord !!!And he never left again..Until he died.,,But i learned to walk by faith and not sight.i had to keep my eyes on the Lord and not on Jim..Jim was every way but loose let me tell ya..... love Connie