Our Marriage

Connie's Kitchen

 

{From the Archives of Connie's Letters. June 1, 2007.}

Part one:

Dear Mothers,

Well yesterday in the mail I received a copy of my marriage license. . I needed it to apply for Social Security. . There it was in my hands . . Jim was 25 when we married and I was 19. Our original certificate had been torn up and thrown away as it said we had been married in prison. . The one I got in the mail didn't say that, thank the Lord...

Oh that marriage certificate said so much to me..And lately as I have read the emails on the response group, and all the troubled marriages represented, the devil has said to me, "All you are doing is leading these wives off a cliff into a firey pit." My heart has been so heavy ..so troubled . . As I write I hold onto Papa's wedding ring as I read over what I have written. . The wedding ring that Papa didn't throw away. . He threw away many wedding rings in the ditch on the highway as he hitch-hiked out of town leaving me over 30 times..
 

Always my heart pined after him .. I loved him and then hated him and wanted to kill him how many times? I would beg the Lord to tell me, "Why can't we have a normal life?" or "Why do I have to go through all of this. . Don't you love me Lord?" And I couldn't figure out why the Lord would allow my kids to go through all of that.

And my mind rushes forward almost 40 years to the day Papa died in the hospital after 26 years of joy and blessing . . . I hung onto Papa's lifeless body and told him, "Papa I will miss you every day.". . And the children, I worried so much about, gave their Daddy a wonderful memorial. . I gave Jesus my life and He didn't let me down. . The chaplain at the hospital told me again and again as I stood with my 6 precious children.."I have never seen such a beautiful family or so much love shown." There were no outbursts of temper or, "Why God why?" There was only peace as we each consoled each other with hugs and words of encouragement. . I whispered into each of the children's ears. ."Always love each other and the Lord. . This is how you will forever honor your Dad."

Jim's passing was so peaceful..And I have never felt out of control concerning it..I have missed my old Darling but always felt it was the Lord's will that he died when he did..Jim told me many times he was dying and he prepared me and then he died..And I have no regrets..I fought him at first over it..it was a time when I was very out of submission..But then Jim tried to tell me a week later.  As I look back now, I can see in my spirit that I had accepted it as Papa told me it had to be...I had learned to submit to him ..He was my lord on earth, and Jesus was my Lord of all..

And now as I get Jim's Social Security and live in the family home he paid off, I remain as God called me at 19 years old.. a wife to Jim..Papa's helper..I will always be Jim's glory.

 

Part 2

 And later on after Jim died I had a vision...I was at the back of a church and was dressed up. . Jim kept pointing me to the front of the church...Jim always introduced me to everyone he knew if we were at the grocery store or whatever. . I didn't want to be introduced and so I would pretend to be doing something else..So in my dream it was common that Jim would want to introduce me to Jesus..So in my dream Papa was trying to escort me down the aisle to Jesus. . Jim said, "This is your new husband." I love the Lord but I didn't want to hear that He was my husband on earth. . I am still not doing very well with that one as I feel Jim about me all the time. . . My heart still clings to Jim as my husband.

But dear suffering wives who read my writings.  . Oh my heart suffers with you. . And maybe you won't get a miracle as I had. . But I have to hang onto the fact that God didn't let me down..He just didn't let me down..He gave me a miracle and I enjoyed it to the hilt..I got to have 3 more children after Jim was saved and I homeschooled for I think about 18 years...I had the family I had dreamed of ..and prayed for. . I come out of 12 years of a horrid marriage without so much as the smell of smoke upon me. . As the Lord had told me, "Connie don't worry.. all is gonna be alright," and it was. . .

Older believers used to tell me, "Connie you can't out give God." And I never understood that. . . I do now. . .Wives you can't out give the Lord. . . All that you give to Him in faith and trust He will give you back a double blessing.

My suffering for that 12 years was nothing compared to the Joy I had later for many years. . And all that I teach on here is the truth and will line up with the Word of God..It's true and cannot be denied. . And you can never argue with a person who has a testimony. . I lived the truth of His Word and God gave me exceeding and abundantly more than I could ask or think.

Love Connie

 

 

{Note from the administrator: This writing has been gleaned from the archives of Connie's letters. Find out more about the posts on this blog by reading this introduction. }

* Order Connie's book, "Dear Kitchen Saints," available on Amazon. It is autobiographical and tells the beautiful story of her marriage testimony! You will be encouraged in old time homemaking.*